Dianna Guintu: [00:00:00] you want that positive feedback from your clients, from your, employees, like you continue to expect that same kind of level. Which at some point we're not gonna get a's in gold stars, right? Like that is going to shift, right?
We're gonna get some negative feedback. Some things are not going to always be that gold star. That's going to be a shock for us, right? For our system. And we're gonna try to sort of go for that extra hustle because we want that perfect star. need that perfect star, right? Because that's the only measurement of being good enough.
And so we want to challenge those thoughts. Is that the only way that we feel good enough? Right? And so when we look at those things that we learned early on, we want to look and see, is that really the truth? Or, do we need to reframe them so that they better serve us as adults?
Intro: I am Christina Koki, [00:01:00] your post of the Effortless Closing Podcast. Born and raised in Silicon Valley. Now bringing the wisdom, wit, and well-oiled business strategies from my new hometown just outside of Nashville, where the pace is slower, but the revenue still runs high. With over two decades building businesses, some wildly successful others can gloriously messy.
Every step has been fueled by a love of real strategy and real results. This isn't about side gigs, and it's definitely not about hustle culture. This is about optimization and building revenue, generating machines designed to make your life and your business feel effortless. After $92 million in sales of the last eight years while raising four little ones and building it all as a.
Wholepreneur. I've created systems that scale and a business that supports my life, not steals from it. From summers in Europe to road trips across the United States, being present with my family is the greatest win. And everything I've learned to make that [00:02:00] possible is now inside the effortless closing method.
The framework behind this podcast, and here's the best part, you can build the same kind of business, the kind that funds your lifestyle, honors your values, and. Feels like you. This show is for the woman who's already doing well, but is ready to simplify the work, amplify her income, and finally build a business that flows with her life.
Every episode brings sharp strategy, honest insights, and real world tools to help you grow your business and enjoy your life in the process. We don't just grow your business, we optimize it to feel effortless. This is the Effortless Closing podcast.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I wanna go ahead and welcome on Diana Tu. I am so excited to have you here today. We are gonna get into so many good things about imposter syndrome, and I'm gonna really take it deep. We're gonna go to imposter syndrome for the strong and bold women out there, because I feel like that's where we struggle the most.
So we got some really [00:03:00] cool. Things to talk about. Diana, can you just start off giving a little bit of an intro about yourself and what you do?
Dianna Guintu: Absolutely. Thank you so much for having me here today. My name is Diana Tu and I have been a licensed professional counselor and behavioral coach for over 20 years.
I specialize in imposter syndrome and I've been coaching women, strong women and working with moms, working with business owners. And I'm so excited to be talking about this because one of the things that I see is , the stronger you are, the more resilient you are.
The more that I see that you struggle with that inner critic, that imposter and it really sabotages women at a high level. And we don't talk about it, right, because there's so much shame and embarrassment around it. So one of the things that I wanna do is I wanna take away the shame.
Because it is completely normal for us to have [00:04:00] those thoughts, those insecurities, and it's just part of us being human. Emotions are normal. So yeah. I'm so excited to be having this conversation with you.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I love it. And it's really, it's one of those things I, I think it's kind of funny because as I've gotten stronger and stronger and bolder and bolder and I've built my, I, I'm still building my empire, but a lot of people will say, I've already built it, but it's like, you know, when I'm building the empire. Having imposter syndrome, I almost don't feel like I have it. Mm-hmm. Until it's there. Right. Like it kind of sneaks up on me. So let's talk about, I think for a lot of our listeners, let's talk a little bit about what that feeling is, because they may say, I don't have it, but then it's really there.
So let's talk a little bit about that.
Dianna Guintu: Yeah, and I think like a lot of times we think that in order to, for us to have imposter syndrome, we're walking around feeling completely helpless, insecure, overwhelmed, and that's not it. Okay. Because you can be a fully [00:05:00] confidence. Successful, very functional woman.
And yet there are moments where you are stepping into bigger opportunities, or even just having a moment in your day and you feel, oh my gosh, what is this? Right? You feel insecure, doubtful you've been triggered. Right? And that is where your inner critic, let's call that I, I, you know where that little voice in your head.
Comes knocking and says, you can't do that, or who do you think you are? Or, that's not good enough, right? You hear this little voice in your head that creates that feeling of overwhelm, of insecurity, and that's what is called imposter syndrome, right? Where you start to doubt that. What you want to create, who you want to be is a fraud, right?
And you start to think that people are going to find out that you do not have [00:06:00] what it takes to be doing what you're doing. And so it doesn't have to be that this is what who you are at all, all the time. But. Sometimes it could be seasons, right? Sometimes it could be seasons, and sometimes it could be moments.
But I think that I think a lot of us that are trying to grow and are in that expansive. You know, big dreams want to, you know, change the world and I think it is actually, I talk to, like I said, I talk to a lot of high achievers. I talk to a lot of women that are in roles of leadership and that have businesses that are very successful and it's late at night.
It's in the quiet of their mind, of their life that they face that imposter syndrome that they face, that inner critic that's telling them, who do you think you are? Like sneaks
Christina Kokologiannakis: up on you. It, it, it really is one [00:07:00] of those things. And the funny thing is like, like I said, I don't think I have it. Like I don't feel like it, and then all of a sudden it's not like for me, it's not like you're not good enough because I'm so bold that I'm just like, I know I got this.
Like I know I'm really good and my husband's like this. Such a big ego, which also puts me like struggles for me too, right? Because then that gives me a little imposter syndrome there. But mine comes out more like. Oh, are they gonna like it? Are they gonna buy it? Right? Like, is it good enough for them?
It's not really towards me, but it's more in general of the. Atmosphere, like is that good enough? Like will someone buy it? And that to me is really hard because then I'm like, should I make it better? Should I change it? Maybe I won't start it now. Maybe I'll delay it. Maybe I'll do something else. And I'm sure that you've seen with imposter syndrome that we procrastinate, right?
So maybe you could talk a little bit about those next stages.
Dianna Guintu: Right. Well, procrastination, perfectionism, like all those things, right? I mean [00:08:00] when really, when it comes down to it, I mean, we could use a lot of different words, but really it just comes down to it not being good enough, right? It not being good enough, which if we peel the onion, comes down to I'm not good enough.
Ah. I mean, there's different layers of the onion. Yes. But if we get down
Christina Kokologiannakis: to the, to the meat of it, right. It's like you get to the meat of it. Right. And I tell people, it's like me telling people, I'm like, they'll, they'll have so much stuff. I'm like, that's just fear. They're like, it's not fear. And I'm like, it's fear.
Go sleep on it. And they come back, they're like, it's fear. I'm like, yeah. They'll like, you get to the heart of it. It's what it is.
Dianna Guintu: Yes. So I mean, again, there's a lot of layers. Yeah, there's a lot of layers to it. But when we really get down to kind of like what I say, like healing the root. Mm-hmm. It really comes down to some of those messages that we got when we were really young.
You know, I know when I work with my clients, we dive into, you know, inner [00:09:00] child work. The messages that we receive, those deep emotional patterns from early childhood are, you know, inherited cycles from generational stuff. You know, all those things that sort of are like our roots are, that are ingrained in us that are sort of still firing.
Right? And sometimes that's why it sneaks up on us. Right, because it's at a subconscious level. It's not like we're walking around with all this stuff activated, right? It gets triggered by certain things that don't go our way, right? Certain things that aren't going up don't, aren't meeting our expectations per se, or are fears, right?
Yes. They maybe they're not up to our, what we thought. They should be right. All our shoulds. And so that's when our inner critic sort of opens the door and says, hello. I am here to remind you of all these things. And so, so yeah, that's when it kind of sneaks up and sometimes it [00:10:00] stays longer than, than it needs to increase a little bit of chaos emotionally for us.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I love it. So I remember, so my daughter, and a lot of people don't know this, but I helped my daughter write her first book when she was 10. And I helped her publish it when she was 11. And she talked a lot about being bullied and fears and other stuff. And the way I would describe it for her, because she was young, is I was like this, this little monster in a cave.
And it crawls up the walls and it pops his head out at just the right moment and whisper. Spurs into your ear and she was like, that's the creepiest image bomb. And then she'd be like, it's doing it. Like I hear it because you're trying to articulate it for a young person to be like, this is that voice.
Like it's not always there. You don't always see it, but, but it kind of creeps out when you don't want it to and it really makes an impact. So let's talk about, 'cause I'm interested in talking about healing the root. So you talked about generational things. Maybe you could go a little deeper on what some of those are.
And then talk a little bit about how you can heal 'em, what some of our listeners [00:11:00] might be able to do, like in the next couple days to at least uncover some of the stuff so they're more aware.
Dianna Guintu: Yeah. You know, I think a lot of times when I look at family, like, you know, things that we learned from our family, right?
Some of our belief systems, you know, for me it's always going back are like, what are, what are we telling ourselves about ourselves, right? Because a lot of times looking at, you know, when we are triggered, right? When, when we are. Telling ourselves that things should be a certain way. Mm-hmm. You know, I always start with acknowledging what are the messages that we are sort of telling ourselves in those moments.
You know, things that we heard from maybe our caregivers. Right. And sometimes it's always, you know, it doesn't always have to be trauma. I think a lot of times we start to think about, oh, well. I wasn't, you know, I didn't have trauma or things like that. But it also has, can be from like, having [00:12:00] very like high expectations, right?
Like let's say that you came from a home where, you know, good grades were expected and you always got really good feedback for having all A's, and you always got stars and praise and love for always having that as those stars, those well. That's all you always got. Right? And that was sort of like the love language in your family.
Well, you sort of learned that the only way to receive that love and affirmation was to always be that a student, then you went to college and you always just got A's and things like that. Well, how do you think that's going to sort of translate when you go into your career? You also want to get A's and stars want
Christina Kokologiannakis: everyone to love it, right?
Yeah.
Dianna Guintu: Yeah. And so you want that positive feedback from your clients, from your, employees, like you continue to expect that same [00:13:00] kind of level. Which at some point we're not gonna get a's in gold stars, right? Like that is going to shift, right?
We're gonna get some negative feedback. Some things are not going to always be that gold star. That's going to be a shock for us, right? For our system. And we're gonna try to sort of go for that extra hustle because we want that perfect star. need that perfect star, right? Because that's the only measurement of being good enough.
And so we want to challenge those thoughts. Is that the only way that we feel good enough? Right? And so when we look at those things that we learned early on, we want to look and see, is that really the truth? Or, do we need to reframe them so that they better serve us as adults? So we wanna make sure that we're paying attention to our thoughts, our belief systems, and obviously that's sort of one that is not trauma based.
But again. [00:14:00] Imagine a lot of people that maybe are listening to this right now do have trauma and so we are carrying some beliefs and some things with trauma that probably are carrying some negative beliefs. Right. I know for me, I'm a survival of trauma of sexual abuse, so I know. I had a lot of beliefs around being damaged about having some unworthiness.
And so when I had to deal with my stuff, I had to really take a look at some beliefs around not being worthy. Not being good enough. And so that was something that I myself had to do some healing around. So taking a look at the language that you're telling yourself, the messages that are sort of playing in the background really does affect how you feel about yourself and how imposter syndrome shows up.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I love that. And you know, I don't really talk about this a lot, but when I was younger, so you talk about the grades and the gold star. Well, my, [00:15:00] my, that was our love language in my, my parents' home, but I could never achieve it. I was, and here's the funny thing, I was always an A and a B student and I was still not good enough.
Right. My sister had a 4.5 all the time, and my parents were always like, why can't you be as skinny as her? Why can't you have grades like her? Why? Because we're 18 a month, months apart. So it was always like, why can't you be like this? Why can't you be like this? Why can't, and it was really hard for me and I was always striving and I was never, I never felt good enough.
I never felt like I could do it. And even after I married my husband, you know, I married very young, but even after I married him, I still struggled and probably about. Six years ago I started doing a lot of inner work and mm-hmm. I was doing Brenda Baard stuff and doing his things and really working through a lot and had a lot of moments of crying and a lot of realization, and that's when I kind of realized, I was like, I'm phenomenal.
Like I am really good at what I do. I'm really successful. I make a lot of money. But I [00:16:00] couldn't see it because in my parents' eyes and my family's eyes, I'm not a doctor or an attorney. So I was never successful and it was really, really hard on me and it took a toll on me. And until I actually did a lot of that work, and I'm gonna tell you I probably have a ton more to do, but like even just doing that basic level work, my, my success skyrocketed, my sales skyrocketed.
I just felt better. And even now, like. I've been married to my husband. We're gonna celebrate our 20 year wedding anniversary in June. I know, it's crazy. It is. Congratulations. I'm 42 years old and I've been with my husband almost half of my life. Like, it's kind of crazy to think that, but I still look for his validation.
I still like, even though he's kind of like, I'm really successful in the sense I make more money than him and everything else. So he's like, you do, you, you go, do you? He doesn't care. But I still want him to validate that I'm good enough and I see it sometimes. And then if he does, and like we were talking earlier, like if he doesn't give me that, then I get the [00:17:00] imposter syndrome because then I'm like, is it not good?
Like, why doesn't he understand it? Even though he's not my market, my demographic, nothing. Still, I want him to be like, oh, she's doing good, so I'm good. It's a, it's a weird thing, but I love how you talk about. We grew up with it. It started in the past because I feel like so many people feel like they just got it, and that's not what happened.
It's been, I, I almost like it's been brewing in the background. It's been something we've been making and happening. We don't really realize it. It kind of comes about and imposter syndrome is a, is a really tough one. So what are some things that some of the listeners might be able to do if they're starting to realize, wait, I do have a lot of imposter syndrome, or I feel like maybe I have it and maybe it's holding me back.
Is there any way that they can kind of start working on something now to help them out?
Dianna Guintu: Yeah, I think just like taking note of their, their inner talk, right? Like what is it that, [00:18:00] how is it that they're, they are talking to themselves, right? Like, you know, taking a look at awareness, really. I mean, to me it's, it starts, there is, with awareness is sort of the first step because you can't change what you are not aware of, right?
So for me it always starts with. Become aware of what is it that you're saying to yourself on a daily basis? Are you waking up and beating yourself up? Or are you waking up and powering yourself up? Right? Because you, you know, we talked about the inner critic, but you're also have a inner hero, right?
Mm-hmm. So it's like, who are you feeding today? Are you feeding your inner critic? Or are you feeding your inner hero? Yeah, talk about the inner hero a little bit. 'cause I don't think I've really heard that before. Well, because I believe like there's the law of polarity, right?
Mm-hmm. And that is like there can't be an up be without a down, right? Like yeah. Opposites, right? [00:19:00] And so for me it's like there's an inner critic. So that means there's an inner hero, right? Like there's a part of you that's cheering for you. There has to be. Yeah, because there's a part of you that's bringing you down.
It just makes sense in my head. Right? There's a part of you that's cheering for you. So for me it's like, are you going to feed that part of you? Because notice that when you listen and, and this kind of came for me I would go, like, I would listen to a podcast or I would read a book or you know, I would like go to a counseling session or, you know, anything like that that would, you know, make me feel really good and I would feel so good for that moment or for that week, and I would like.
Be so charged up, right? Yeah. I would be like, oh my gosh, like this is amazing. It would just feel so good, but then without fail, right? It, it starts to go away. I, I would start to lose it and I started to tell myself, how can [00:20:00] I hold onto that? Like how can I hold on to this feeling of feeling more like positive more myself, right?
Because it felt like that was my truth, but it's like I could never really sort of hold onto it for more, right? Because eventually I. My inner critic would win, you know? Yeah. It's like I would start to feel more insecure in things and that's where I started to think I wish there was a way that I could feel this way every day.
Yeah. And I started doing something that I now refer to as my power station. And it was like a, it's like a ritual that I do every morning where I kind of power up my inner hero. And it's like this ritual that I do every morning where I kind of talk to myself. I like check in on myself, and I do affirmations.
I do some mirror work. I do it while I'm putting on my makeup. This is something that it's like five to 10 minutes. It's not, doesn't take. You know, an hour [00:21:00] or anything. Yep. But this is something that they can do, your listeners can do, where you're just like, while you're getting ready for the day, you just sort of remind yourself who you are.
Right? Hmm. Like, you just choose who you are and I'm not going to allow sort of like those inherited cycles from the past. Right. Those messages that. I don't need to be listening to, I don't need to be listening to all that negative stuff. Nope. I need to be choosing how I wanna show up today. Yeah. Right.
And so I do my affirmations. I do my mirror work and I kind of tell myself like I'm powering up my inner hero. And it's what I call like my power station little ritual. If, if people follow me on Instagram, I usually sometimes do it on Instagram while I'm on there. But. It really started solidifying my mindset because it's like a cell phone, right?
Yeah. I charge myself up every day. I power up my battery every day, and with [00:22:00] that I just build up my mindset stronger and stronger and stronger. And with time I was able to just boost my confidence. Where now. I feel like that more regularly than mm-hmm. I did, you know, 10 years ago or 15 years ago because I, it has become, and I have cultivated like a habit out of it, ah, versus before where I didn't have any, like, I didn't have anything that anchored me to this.
Mm-hmm. Does that make sense? Does so for me, it's like having something that anchors you to. Who you wanna be is super helpful because there's so much from your past. Mm-hmm. That's subconscious there. Yes.
Christina Kokologiannakis: You don't even know about it. It's just there and it's gonna come up when it wants to come up and you can't change it '
Dianna Guintu: cause it's already happened.[00:23:00]
There's nothing you can do about it. It is there. You can't erase it. It is there. So you can only choose what you do. From here forward, right? So we have a choice on how we show up. So for me, it's doing this ritual that I do every morning so I can power my inner hero.
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Christina Kokologiannakis: I love that so much. Like I'll hear people, for me, it's hard in the mornings because I have four little kids and so when when I wake up, I drag myself out of bed 'cause I'm like, oh my God, I'm so tired.
But like, and then it's like, it's not like get up. A lot of people are like, oh, I get up, I have my coffee and I sit and I'm like, I'm up. I'm brushing teeth, I'm putting clothes on. I'm like helping my kids like, 'cause my 5-year-old, he can, but he still struggles like. He'll put his pants on backwards and then the whole day, I didn't realize they're backwards.
He comes home, I'm like, your pants are backwards. He is like, oh, I guess they're right. So, but people will say in the morning, sit down, write it out, like get in it. And it's like. For a busy mom, we can't do that. Right. For [00:27:00] entrepreneurs who have a thousand things in their mind, sometimes we can't do that.
But I love that you're like, I'm doing my makeup and I'm doing that. Like my husband thinks I'm crazy. 'cause I'll talk to myself in the mirror all the time. When I'm getting ready, I'll be like, you're just amazing. And I'm brushing my teeth. I'm like, you're so amazing. Like you're so amazing. Exactly. No one else tells me I have to tell myself.
Right. And I feel like just having even of a five minute, like what you were saying, if our listener, if my listeners are just like, just do that one thing right now. Make yourself feel better. Know that you are loved by yourself. And how powerful you really can be. And this is why I'm on this whole mission of helping women build their empires because I feel like too many women's women are playing it small.
They're in the wrong rooms, they're, they're just bowing down to other people. I. When the inside of them is screaming, but I'm more powerful. I wanna do more, we can do more. And they quiet it. And when they quiet that because they're listening to the imposter syndrome, [00:28:00] they're listening to all the noise, giving them more imposter syndrome, then they're not in alignment.
And when they're not in alignment. They can't grow, they can't succeed. It doesn't happen. So I love that. So my question is, if you're doing that every day in the mirror from the past when you didn't do it to now, I'm curious, do you also sleep better too? Are you finding that your sleep has shifted?
Dianna Guintu: Everything has shifted. I'll tell you this, I'm not even kidding. Like so many things have shifted. I really think that the one consistent thing has been this ritual.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah. 'cause
Dianna Guintu: it has really anchored me in who I am as a person. Like it has brought me home to me and I love, and it's not writing anything and it's not 30 minutes and you don't have to get up earlier.
Like none of that. You really do it. And like you infuse it in your life, [00:29:00] whether it's driving to work, whether it is brushing your teeth, whether it's putting on your makeup. Yeah, I'm not stopping to do anything differently than what I was already doing. Like I'm just doing these tools.
While I'm doing the stuff that I was already doing, you know? Yeah. I was already putting on my makeup while I'm doing my affirmations and mirror work and freaking like, I'm just infusing these tools that are really good for your soul and for your mind. While I'm doing it,
Christina Kokologiannakis: the work, and I don't think people realize how powerful this is.
Like I talk about mindset all the time. I talk about all these things. It's like we can't really fix it. Like I'm a big, I'm a, I'm a biohacker, so I like, I love hacking my health because I know how much my health is related to my success as well. Like I've learned that lesson. But what people are missing is their mind.
Right. Their mind, their the way they talk. And I, I, I kind of, for me, and maybe I'm wrong, you can correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like that imposter [00:30:00] syndrome is kind of that mind too. Like it's, it is your subconscious, but I feel like it's the mind. If you're not taking care of your mind and you're not speaking to yourself kindly like you were saying.
It affects you in so many ways. And I see so many powerful women who are charging $200 for an eight week live course that I'm like, wait, it's live for eight weeks and you're charging $200. Well, no one will pay for it. You know, no one will do it. And I'm sitting there going like, oh my God. Like if you target the right people.
You can make $5,000 in that eight week. Like, why are we paying? Why are we doing 200? But they don't, they're not talking nice to themselves. They don't feel comfortable. There's so many things going on. So I love that ritual. I'm gonna encourage all my listeners. You guys should be doing something like that.
Dianna Guintu: Yeah, and you know what? Like it changes everything. I have a client who I worked with, who we really worked on imposter syndrome and. She was able to lose weight. Mm-hmm. Who, who doesn't wanna lose weight? I [00:31:00] mean, I don't know anyone. Everyone, right? Like, we all wanna lose weight. I mean, I think all of every woman.
But she lost weight just literally by doing the, her work on prioritizing herself. Like she wasn't necessarily like on a diet or anything. She was just loving herself more and. Working on her confidence and she went and she actually went and got a job that paid her for $60,000 more.
That's crazy. 60,000. Yeah. By just working on her. Imposter syndrome and she got the confidence to transition to a new job and landed a job $60,000 more, and it really was just her confidence level. She didn't get a new certification. She did not get anything like that. It was just that she felt good enough to go and apply for a job.
Landed a job, that paid her that. [00:32:00] So I think like when you look at the power of really stepping into your own voice, your own truth, not only does it help you from a standpoint of feeling good, right? 'cause we wanna feel good emotionally, but it also does help you physically, right? It helps your health because if you're taking care of yourself, you're going to do things that.
Help you feel better. For example, I always use this example like I think most of the people that are probably listening to this call, they probably have something like a jewelry that they, you know, a piece of jewelry that they value. I don't know about you, Christina. Do you have a piece of jewelry that you value, maybe like your wedding band, or, I know you're celebrating your anniversary, so I'm sure probably value your wedding band, or, I know for me I have like, a, a string of pearls that I was gifted once and, and.
When I wear it, like I have it in a little box. Mm-hmm. That I put it back in that little box when I [00:33:00] stop wearing it. Right. Like I value it. Right. Yeah. Now, I'm sure everybody here probably listening has a pair of earrings from Target or Walmart or something. And when we wear those earrings, we probably put 'em in our purse.
We put 'em in the counter. Probably some of us have some pair of earrings in the car. Right? Like we don't really care where they go. Right. Because if they get lost or broken, like what's 20 bucks? Right. Like, you know, we could probably buy some more. The differences, right. Is the. How we value it, right?
Yes. We value that piece, right?
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah.
Dianna Guintu: And I think like a lot of the times as women, we are treating ourselves like that pair of target earrings, right? We're not taking care of ourselves. We're not sleeping well, we're not eating well, we're not speaking to ourselves. Well, we're not setting boundaries. We're not, you know, we're [00:34:00] not charging what we're, you know, we're not charging well for our time.
We're, we're not making time for, for our passions. And so when we start to do that, our life changes, right? Not only physically, emotionally, but financially. It really does impact us holistically when we start to step into who we are and own our worth, embody our worth. So when you look at healing the root of imposter syndrome, it, it goes beyond just feeling confident, right?
Mm-hmm. But it's about really stepping into who you are. And owning who you are from a standpoint of loving yourself more, right? Loving yourself enough to say, this is who I am, this is who, what I need, this is what I desire. And that's powerful for women because we [00:35:00] are such game changers in life. Don't
Christina Kokologiannakis: you agree?
I I do. And it's funny, I was singing this podcast and this was like, oh, to be honest, it was kind of weird when I was listening 'cause I was like, I don't know where this is going. She's literally a goddess and she's like, certified to do these ceremonies. And I was like, that's kind of weird. I was like, I don't know if I like believe in that, whatever.
But then she kept going and she was like, women were always the powerful ones back in his dream. 'cause I'm a history buff. She was like, we had the goddesses and then the oracles were women, right? And then the healers were women. And women had a really powerful role in the world for a long time. And then it was cut and they cut that, that, that piece of rope or, or thread, however you wanna look at it.
And we got disconnected. And then for a long time, women were just seen as a housemaker, right? Mm-hmm. As a caregiver. And that was it. I feel like we're making our comeback, but we almost have imposter syndrome around that. Like, it's like we feel like we have to be [00:36:00] everything to everybody and we forget our roots of how powerful we really are.
And I do that too a lot of times. Like a lot of times like I'll be like, oh, I feel really bad. I'm not giving all the attention to my kids and everything else. But then my kids will come in and be like, you know, you're like the best mom. And I'm like, okay, so I'm doing, I'm doing good enough. Right? But we can't do everything, but we have to find our secret power inside because that's what's gonna change us.
And too many women are holding it back. Too many women are fear, have fear of things, right? Imposter syndrome is huge. It's just, it's crippling. Right. So if women wanted to go, besides, you know, your like five, 10 minute mirror thing, which I love, everyone should be doing that and check her out on Instagram, guys so that you guys can see what she does.
How can, like how long would it take for someone to truly get to the root of their imposter syndrome and start healing it? Does it take a long time? Like, what does that process look like? [00:37:00]
Dianna Guintu: You know, I think like, usually I can do some pretty good work with someone in a three month container. I think like three months is a good place for people to start.
To get some with a good like three to six months, I would probably say is sort of like the sweet spot for them to get to like a really good. Foundational place of like having some awareness, having some really good tools to implement. And then from there, I think a lot of my clients move into more like a maintenance phase where of course, like you said, like we're always healing, we're always wanting to dig deeper and kind of explore other areas.
But like that's sort of going into again, like continuing the journey. But I think like, again, I've been doing this work for a long time and so, I think that I have a lot of frameworks that get people to the root pretty easy once I start working with them and we can get to sort of like those [00:38:00] main frameworks that they need to address some, some pretty big belief systems that we can reframe and, and get some healing done so they can start seeing some, some changes.
So what does it look like when someone works with you? Well, definitely we go pretty deep, pretty quick, like I said. Just because one of the things that I like to do is, like I said, we're gonna go in there and. It is not your typical, where we're going to just talk about mindset. Yeah. Like it is not a, I am not a mindset coach.
I always tell people it's not about mindset. We're gonna be talking about healing the root. So one of the things that we talk about is like child, inner child work, and really talking about those cycles, inherited cycles from your family, .
Christina Kokologiannakis: And then is it a one-to-one? Is it a group? Is it a course? What does it look like? Okay,
Dianna Guintu: so I do have one-to-one. So I have two different kind of containers. I have a one-to-one, which is either a three month or a six month. Okay. Some people choose to work longer with me, and [00:39:00] that's okay.
But usually it's a three month or six month. And then I do have a healing collective, which is my community, which is a six month and then ongoing.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Okay. That's awesome. And that's the cool thing for all the listeners. It's not just a course.
You're sitting down and you're like, it's funny because someone was like talking to me about trauma and they were like, yeah, someone recommended me, this person to talk to about trauma. I was like, okay. And, and they're like, it was a course. And I was like, okay. And she was like, I really want like a person.
I want guidance. Like it's not like I'm just learning how to set up a system or something. Like I'm changing myself, I'm growing, I'm expanding, like I. I want help. And so I love that you're giving them that one-to-one that you're really kind of in there and you're really helping them even at a group level.
Right, right. You know, being able to be inside there and really help, I think is fantastic. And then you can dig deeper. For sure. You know, we haven't really gotten a chance to talk about burnout. Do you wanna talk a [00:40:00] little bit about burnout?
Dianna Guintu: Yeah. one of the things that I do wanna say with burnout, one of the things that I see is that you're putting yourself sort of at high risk for your inner critic, right?
Anything that you put yourself sort of more vulnerable, I. It puts you at high risk for your inner critic, for your triggers to be more accessible. Okay? Because think about it from this point. If you're not taking care of yourself, those emotional triggers that are sort of subconsciously there, they're going to be more activated.
Okay, because your defenses are going to be lower when you're at burnout. So when we talk about burnout, burnout really just means that you've been in fight or flight for too long. Okay? So if you're not taking care of yourself, if you are hustling too long. You're not taking time to restore then you're gonna hit burnout.
And a lot of the people that I do work with sometimes do come to me because they've [00:41:00] hit burnout. And that means that they've just, you know, hit a place where they can't go on. And they are highly susceptible to being triggered. And some of those emotional responses are being activated too much.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I love that because burnout is real.
It is like really real before I got serious about it, like I would in my other business that I have, when I first started really running that in the high six figures. I would stop for like 2, 3, 4 months and be like, I don't wanna do anything. I wanna lay in bed, I wanna do nothing. And I just, I physically and mentally could not look at stuff.
'cause I was like, I don't wanna look at it like I'm done. And I realized it's because I wasn't pacing myself. Yep. I was really like this almost, I don't even know how to explain it. It's like, I was just running, running, running, running. And then it was like, bam. Into a brick wall. Yeah. And then I was like, stop.
And then I would get up and I would run, run, run, run, run, and then do it again. And it was not a way to run a business.
Dianna Guintu: You really can't sprint [00:42:00] full for, you know, you, you're long distance, you can't sprint long distance. No, for sure.
Christina Kokologiannakis: No, and it was hard. And then having four kids, well, I mean, as my kids collected, right?
Because I kept having more and more, but it was like, you know, just, it just got harder and harder. And so burnout is real. I tell people all the time, like, if you don't check your health, you don't check your imposter syndrome, you don't check all the stuff going on, it hits you. And that's where you struggle.
'cause all that momentum that you had, you lose it. You just, you just don't have it anymore. Well,
Dianna Guintu: and then you have to spend a lot of time recovering. A lot. It's a lot harder to recover instead of just taking breaks, right? Like if you just learn to prioritize yourself and repair as you go, it's so much better than having to take.
Months to repair and recover. Right? But that's a hard lesson. We've all learned it. I hit burnout too. I definitely had my own depression and stuff when I hit my burnout. Because we, you know, again, [00:43:00] no one talks about it. Everybody just talks about you gotta go, you gotta hit, you gotta be successful.
And, you know, we all sort of have to experience it. And then we're like, oh. This is what it is. And so, like, it's
Christina Kokologiannakis: like after you experience it, you're like, I don't wanna experience that again until you do again. And, and it happens. So how do you handle, so nowadays, how do you prepare yourself? So you don't get burnout?
I.
Dianna Guintu: I feel like I have a pretty good handle on like a repair plan. Okay. I, that's what I call, I call, like I, I, I teach my clients how to repair and I have my own repair plan. So I do a lot of, like, I have like my red. My red flags. Mm-hmm. And so, I just take really good care of, like those, I know what's happening.
I have my triggers. So just like really learning how to check in. I think like having a system of accountability. Right. I do have my mentors that I check in. [00:44:00] I used to do everything by myself. Yes. I used to not have people to help me. And. You know, now I do. I have mentors myself. I have my own coach, I have a counselor, and so I have learned that I too need guides.
And so I have built a team that keep me accountable as well, and so I. Having that in place, I think learning that I don't have to do it all. I don't have to do everything. I just have learned a lot about checking in with myself and knowing that I don't have to that I don't need to earn. Yeah. My self care, I don't need, I don't have to deserve.
My holidays, I don't have to deserve fun. You know, all these things that I had to reframe in my mindset. You know, all, all these things are important. And I had to do the work, right? I had to do that healing work to get there.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah. And it's one of those things where like, [00:45:00] I, I don't think we're structuring our days well enough.
And so like, so I come from the real estate background, right? So my other business is real estate. I have a very successful company there, but I work seven days a week for a long time until I was realizing I don't have to do this, I don't have to work every weekend, every evening, every day, all day, every day.
So when someone calls, I would used to run out there and I'd be like, I'll run. I run. And then I'd realize, first of all, I don't wanna do it. Second of all, it makes me look like I have nothing going on because I'm just running out to them. So in both of my business now, I don't work Fridays. And I try really hard not to work on the weekends for real estate unless my week is pretty full and I choose to schedule something on the weekend.
I think a lot of my listeners are just packing their day full of stuff. It's not even like needle moving things, it's just stuff. And so I'm really big on, I prioritize and I like for me, so I don't hit burnout is content creation kills [00:46:00] me. It's It's a lot, right? It's a lot. But what I do is I have one week every month.
Where I make all my YouTubes, I make all my podcasts, I get everything created and done in one week. It's a super hard push. I only work four days and I get it all in. And then for three weeks I work on two weeks. I work on sales. One week I work on like building stuff out. So then the rest of the month is easier.
I can rest, I can take little breaks. I like, some days I'm really tired, right? 'cause the women's cycle, you know your cycle and how you are hormonally and all that stuff. Sometimes I'll be like, I just wanna sit and watch a movie for an hour and a half. Like I'm really tired and I'll do that because I structure it.
So I feel like that we have to just really look at how we're structuring our days to make sure that that burnout is not coming and sneaking up. 'cause it just, for me, it sneaks up. Like I push really, really hard. Like I'm getting ready for my move. We're packing, I have with my real [00:47:00] estate company, I have three listings coming on the market on the same week.
Right, and I'm moving two weeks later and I'm selling my own house and renovating another one of my own houses that I have, and I'm like, all within one month. It's a lot. I know I'm gonna burn out. I know it's coming. So I'm telling myself pace. Just pace. Do what I can. Do one thing at a time. Only do what's important now.
Everything else can wait. So I love that. All right. What is one key thing that we talked about today you really want the listeners to really grab on? Like what do you think is like the most important thing that they should walk away with from our time together?
Dianna Guintu: I really wanna encourage them to, to have a ritual that they can check in with themselves because it has been so powerful for me to have something that anchors me daily, like.
You can do something every now [00:48:00] and then and it feels good, but having something that you sort of can anchor you and it builds up over time was just life changing for me. And I think I gave you this, but like. I do have a journey that I'm sharing with your audience with like my power station blueprint, and they can go and get it.
If they use the, the, the code imposter. I know you'll have it in your show notes. Yes. But like they can go and get it because I think like if, if they can start to do that every day and just show up for themselves. Three minutes, two minutes. I think it will make a difference in their lives because it will put them at the top of their list.
It will prioritize themselves.
Christina Kokologiannakis: So you're gi and let's talk about that a little bit more. So you're giving away basically the plan on how to have the power station and all of that good stuff. Right. Awesome. Because I
Dianna Guintu: will guide 'em for 10 days. It's an, it's an [00:49:00] email. Okay. It's like a power station journey.
And they just have to put the coupon code and posture. Yep. And they will get access to the 10 day journey. Yay. So, your audience will get that it's, it's a value of $47, but your audience will get it. And so they will just put that coupon code in there and they'll just get an email on their they'll just get an email daily for 10 days and I'll just kind of walk them through it.
Because I share different tools that they can get, that they can use just to kind of, 'cause everybody's different, right. Some things will work for Somebo. Somebody's, yeah. But I'll, I share 10 tools that they can do in that time, which I call 10 Power Station.
Christina Kokologiannakis: When listening, you need to get that the ev, all the information to that will be in the show notes to make sure you grab that.
I think that's awesome because that to me is like what stood out as well through this whole conversation is how important that is, how cool that is, right. And making sure that we're really being aware of ourselves. [00:50:00] Right. And just knowing like, do I have a lot of imposter syndrome? Is it holding me back?
You know, my clothes to burnout, all that good stuff that's in there. So I love that. Share where people can find and connect with you.
Dianna Guintu: Yeah. So on Instagram, I am Diana G Under Speaks, and then my website is diana gitu speaks.com.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Diana, for coming on. It was such a great conversation.
Everybody, all the notes and everything, all the links we talked about will be in the show notes. Thank you again and I will see you on the next episode.
