Mindi Huebner: [00:00:00] when we are in the identity of an angry person, the goal of an angry person is not to be happy. Please don't confuse yourself. Lots of times we're like, whoa.
What's the goal? Well, it's, it is to get happy. Mm-hmm. Angry person says, I wanna yell, I wanna scream, I wanna stop my feet. Every identity is a role with a goal, and none of them are bad. Just like emotions. The issues come in when we get stuck in an identity or when we have conflicting identities , that we can't seem to integrate.
So that can show up in a couple ways so we can get stuck in an identity, in an emotional identity like anger. We've all met very angry people. they're stuck. That identity, the benefits and the payoffs of being angry are greater than anything else, and they can't see it.
And they're stuck. Right. Like they've concluded and decided this is who I am. This is the way that it is. [00:01:00]
Intro: I am Christina Kokologiannakis, your host of the Effortless Closing Podcast. Born and raised in Silicon Valley. Now bringing the wisdom, wit, and well-oiled business strategies from my new hometown just outside of Nashville, where the pace is slower, but the revenue still runs high. With over two decades building businesses, some wildly successful others can gloriously messy.
Every step has been fueled by a love of real strategy and real results. This isn't about side gigs, and it's definitely not about hustle culture. This is about optimization and building revenue, generating machines designed to make your life and your business feel effortless. After $92 million in sales of the last eight years while raising four little ones and building it all as a.
Wholepreneur. I've created systems that scale and a business that supports my life, not steals from it. From summers in Europe to road trips across the United States, being present with my family is the [00:02:00] greatest win. And everything I've learned to make that possible is now inside the effortless closing method.
The framework behind this podcast, and here's the best part, you can build the same kind of business, the kind that funds your lifestyle, honors your values, and. Feels like you. This show is for the woman who's already doing well, but is ready to simplify the work, amplify her income, and finally build a business that flows with her life.
Every episode brings sharp strategy, honest insights, and real world tools to help you grow your business and enjoy your life in the process. We don't just grow your business, we optimize it to feel effortless. This is the Effortless Closing podcast.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Welcome everybody. I'm so excited today to have Mindy. We are gonna get into something deep and something that I wanna talk about as well, because I struggle with it too. She's gonna talk about identity, rewiring patterns, all sorts of cool stuff, so I can't wait to get to it.
Mindy, welcome to my
podcast.[00:03:00]
Mindi Huebner: Thank you so much. I am so excited to dive in and make a container for such powerful breakthroughs for all your listeners.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Oh, I'm so excited. Tell my listeners a little bit about what you do and why it's so powerful.
Mindi Huebner: My zone of genius is identity work, so.
When we get deeper, we're gonna talk about the difference between mindset and identity. Mindset is your relationship to something. Identity is your repeated way of being. This, they are separate and they are kissing cousins. So I really work in identity. And of course then mindset is a, a sub pattern of that.
A sub, a sub something. I can't think of the word I want. And help rewire. Yeah. Very good. Thank you. Thank you. And help really rewire the patterns underneath that equate hustle to success. For so many high achievers, we have built powerful businesses. Empires on our way to building empires, and [00:04:00] yet the subconscious identities running behind the scene lean us into pressure and performance and perfectionism.
And we get to. Shed that conditioning so that we are running empires that are aligned, built on self-trust and, and we are leading from our authentic self.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I love that. And, and I know we're gonna get into stuff because I was just telling you a few minutes ago that like I'm struggling with some stuff. And so I know for the women out there who are, even if I always say your empire, it doesn't matter the size of it.
Your empire is your empire, right? So I have women who connect with me and they're like, I make a hundred thousand dollars a year. I wanna get to half a million. Is that an empire? I'm like, your empire is your empire, right? And so what I build can contain and stretch and mold with wherever you wanna go. So I know we're gonna talk a lot about some cool stuff, but I wanted to ask you, how did you get into this?
Like where did you start with all this? I.
Mindi Huebner: That is a thank you. That's such a great question. Uh, I'm gonna tell you a little [00:05:00] story about an email that came and just blew up everything I thought I'd built blew up my empire so to, to speak. Oh, no. Yeah, yeah. Uh, the email, they were shutting down my entire sales division, just like that.
And 17 years loyalty leadership. Late nights gone basically in a subject line. And here's the truth, I wasn't even that mad about it. I was actually relieved, which told me everything I needed to know. For years, I wore hustle, like a badge of honor. All the empire builders I know can identify with that.
Success equaled productivity. Productivity met value. I didn't know. Another way to prove I was worth something unless I was achieving and rest lazy, right? Like, no way slowing down weak. That wasn't an option either. I was always feeling that tension instead of trust. That ease had to be earned. And even then, like I, I was, did I really deserve it?
Like did I work hard [00:06:00] enough to rest kind of thing. And when the hustle quit me finally, 'cause I, I was loyal to it, I kept going. I got real quiet. I just started doing some really deep work. Like I had the opportunity to start reading. The first book I read on habits was The Power of Habit.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yes. Uh,
Mindi Huebner: love that book.
Also, atomic Habits. You, oh, for those of you that can't see me, it's on my bookshelf. Uh, atomic Habits. I also love, I dove into all things mindset, subconscious identity, how the patterns work. Neuroscience, NLP, like everything that. Runs the show behind the scenes and I realized I had been living by a really outdated code, beliefs about work and worth, and who I deserved to be or didn't deserve to be in order to have success.
And so I rewrote the code and I started implementing a, what I now call the 24 Kara Success framework rewiring [00:07:00] subconscious identity. I tested it all on myself, and then I started bringing it to my clients. So no more tension over trust, no more proving, no more performing, just reprogramming. because we cannot outhustle our subconscious, no, we can't outperform our subconscious.
We can only rewire
Christina Kokologiannakis: it. I, I love that. And it's, it's something where I, I, it's kind of hard because like you kind of have to have that breakthrough to understand what we're saying about the breakthrough. Or maybe you're at the point, like if you're listening and you're like. Maybe I'm due for a breakthrough, maybe like I am.
Like if you're feeling that it's time. And I remember about, I wanna say it was maybe, probably now, maybe five or six years ago, and, , everyone looks at me now and they're like, you're so happy. You're so successful. Like, you're amazing. I'm like, but I wasn't always like this. Right? I was that hustle. I was that I'm always trying to prove I'm good enough because I never felt good enough.[00:08:00]
And, I was in tech for a long time. I've been a serial entrepreneur for 20 years, but I always failed. I mean, I learned, but I always failed. I always struggled. And about five or six years ago, I was doing some really deep work and I said, I don't like who I am anymore. I don't wanna be this person. And I remember I was driving to South Lake Tahoe in the windy roads and I was listening to stuff and doing this work, and I was crying and I was bawling.
And I'm like, don't die as I'm crying, but like it was so, it was just awakening for me, right. And then I realized that. All this stuff that I had was holding me back and that's why I'm so excited that you're here, because I know there are so many women listening to this right now who are like, maybe I have that.
Like if you have that thought of, maybe I have that. That's your subconscious saying, yeah, we have some work to do. And so I wanna get into so many different things. But I wanna start with, so you had this realization, you were able to do the work outta the work that you did. 'cause you talked about a lot of things that I love, like NLP and some other stuff.
[00:09:00] Was there one thing that stood out to you that you felt was like helped you the most in the work that you did? Or was it just the collection of everything that you did?
Mindi Huebner: I think first was awareness and understanding, and these are gonna be keys. So like if you're, if you can write it down, write it down.
Otherwise, like awareness, we got nothing until we are aware of what is happening. And so the awareness and the understanding of how I wasn't, I'm not broken. Right? And I'm actually most women. Initially don't need another external strategy. What we get to do first is come back to the version of us that existed before the conditioning.
Right? So this is about a shedding. This is, this is not about becoming a whole new person. We're actually going back to our authentic, true self. And that's a big difference for me. Like you can call it reinvent, you can call it unbe become, you call it whatever you want, right? Yeah. It is you [00:10:00] letting your most authentic self lead.
And that only happens when you trust yourself to shed the conditioning, when you trust yourself that you can live without the hustle. And so I had awareness and understanding, and the understanding was about how neuropathways are formed and how does my subconscious work, our subconscious. And I have binged some of your episodes, so I know that your audience knows about this and we'll repeat it 'cause it bears repeating.
95% of what we do statistically is based in our subconscious. It's automated. That thing is just moving and gro in it. It doesn't wanna burn. It wants to burn as least to calories as possible. It wants to keep you in the known. So whenever you're bumping up against, why aren't I not doing this thing? Like, I have willpower, I really wanna talk about that too.
Yes. Okay. And yet I can't do this thing. Well, you can't out discipline a subconscious identity willpowers finite if [00:11:00] you don't feel safe. If your subconscious identity is not safe. In the definition that you've given Empire builder. Yeah. You're going to, what some people would call self-sabotage. Let's be loving to ourselves and call it self protection.
Yes. Right. You're going to self protect. 'cause your subconscious wants to keep you in the known, so 5%. If 95% is happening in the subconscious, it's only 5% that we've got consciously and we're trying to run a whole ship with this little tiny bit. And so we're constantly fighting against ourselves.
So we, we, our conscious identity and our subconscious identity are not in alignment. And that, that is the key is getting those two pieces into alignment.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I talk about alignment all the time. And that's why when I coach, , people who come into my world and like the house of Corsa that I'm building, you have to find your alignment.
That's why it's not here is this is this is the program. Just [00:12:00] follow it and do it. Mm-hmm. And this is what's happening with so many women is that we've done so many different things. We're out there seeing so many different things. We feel like we have to hustle because nothing's working. It's not in alignment.
It's not for you. And I tell people all the time, they're like, do I have to build a membership? It's like, do you want to? Exactly. If you don't want to, don't do it. So like in the real estate world, when I was coaching real estate agents you know, back in the day right? They'd be like, I don't want cold call.
Do I have to cold call? It's like, no, I don't cold call. I'm really good at, but I don't do it because I don't like it. Right. Stop doing things we don't like. Stop feeling like we have to do stuff to do stuff. Right.
Mindi Huebner: I would love to tell you a story about a client. Yeah. And everyone is just going to be like.
Oh my God. Yes, yes, yes. one of my favorite clients, she came to me with a huge goal scaling her business to a million dollars in a year. She, she wanted to be bringing in a million dollars in revenue within a year. And I will say too, she runs a really lean business [00:13:00] and she runs a high profit margin.
Yeah. So a million bucks in revenue is a whole lot of money actually in her pocket as well. She was at a standstill though, and not because she lacks skill or ambition, like this was not part of it, it was a deep rooted belief that hitting that revenue milestone would mean sacrificing her core values.
Yeah. She would be out of alignment. She had worked so long to stay into alignment. She had structures built in her empire. I love this. I love that. We keep going back to Empire. She built this business around working 20 hours a week. She wanted to stay authentic, present down to earth.
And in her mind, she had decided that achieving the million dollars meant letting go of all those things. The belief that hitting that pivotal milestone building our empire, right, was that she would have to let go of everything. Like she couldn't be true to herself. She couldn't, she would have to be [00:14:00] someone else on stage, like just lose all the things that she wanted.
So in one session, my gift is hearing your limiting belief when you talk to me. Yeah. We reframed that. We knocked it out. We explored a new identity, the safety in being that three months, she hit the million bucks. Ah, three months is that amazing. From one 15 minute session because. Once she was aligned with that new seven figure identity, that it didn't mean loss.
I just listened to an episode. You talked so much about how we'll, like avoid loss over going for gain, right? Yeah. When it didn't mean loss, she knew she crafted that plan, she implemented it, it was done. Like it, it's one of my favorite stories to tell.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I love that. And that's what it is. And it's, it's funny 'cause like there's just these little things.
Okay. So when I was building all of this and starting. I was real, I'm still really successful in real estate, which is my other business that I run. Right. I've got it [00:15:00] down to working 15 hours a week. I have no team. I have like a transaction coordinator, I have an escrow officer, but no real team member. I do it all and I make a high six figure income, like nothing.
It's really easy. And when I came over into this world, right, I was like, oh, I, I don't wanna work hard. I, I kind of got that dialed in. I had a huge issue when I started so I've been coaching for a long time, but doing this online coaching right, was a little bit different for me. I told myself, I don't wanna be like those people who are making the million dollars, but they're working so hard still.
Like, I don't wanna be. And it was a, I had to reframe that. Like, it actually held me back from growing and expanding because I saw them as working too hard. And then when I started meeting a lot of them, they were like, oh, we don't work hard. Like we choose, we, we do it because we enjoy it. And in my mind I was like.
Oh, I thought it was a lot of work. I was like, if I made a million bucks a year, I just wanna sit around and do nothing. Like they're still working. Like it was a big aha [00:16:00] moment. And once I realized that, I was actually able to switch into like, this is gonna be fun. I'm gonna enjoy this. Like, we're gonna do something like the House of Cortes.
Like I tell people we're, we haven't launched yet. We're gonna launch in July. But like. We're changing lives, we're changing the world. This is not a just come into a membership. This is a house that can expand with you and hold you at different rooms, different levels for you. And it's gonna be such a community that people are gonna be like, where was this like this?
I needed this my whole life. And I realized that once I made that reframe that I could do this, I could change all this. I didn't have to hustle. So let's talk about willpower, because this is something I'm not joking. Like everyone tells me, oh, Christina, you have so much grit. Like you're so good. Like, oh, you push through.
And I do. I have four kits. I run a lot. I run two full businesses. Three, if you count my speaking, I'm kind of on hold with that a little bit. And then I'm actually consulting with a startup and I'm trying to buy them out [00:17:00] because I wanna run the startup. I wanna take it. So like people look at me and they're like, how do you do all this?
Sometimes I'm like, I have a lot of willpower, but willpower can be dangerous. So let's talk about that a little bit.
Mindi Huebner: So let's talk about the fact that you're always winning the game you're playing. Yeah. This is if you, because you cannot out discipline or outhustle or outperform a subconscious identity that doesn't trust itself or that believes our brain deletes, distorts and generalizes based on our belief.
If you believe making a million dollars or having a million dollar business, or building an empire with a million dollars in revenue is going to be hard work you win, your brain will literally delete and generalize the people telling you it's not that hard work. Christine, what are you talking about?
Right? Like there's so much data coming at you at one time that your brain has to have filtering systems so you don't become that little exploding head emoji, right? So that's where that delete, distort, and generalize comes in and it's [00:18:00] gonna, what filtering system am I gonna use?
Oh, well, she believes this, so I'm going to use this filtering system. If you believe, if you believe you're someone who can't be trusted with a million dollar yes business, your subconscious will find ways to prove that to you. Real transformation begins when you shift how you see yourself, because your subconscious will always act in alignment with your identity, with where you feel the safest.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah. And then do you have any tips? Because the safe, the safety thing is a big one. That's a hard one. Yeah. Like, mm-hmm. I know in my podcast I've talked about trusting yourself. Like you have to be able, if you wanna do high ticket sales, you have to trust yourself. Because if you walk in a room, so like let's just give an example.
When I'm selling a $4 million home, which I do, and they're gonna pay me $120,000 to sell that home for them, I have to trust myself and I have to trust that I'm gonna be good at it and I'm gonna do it. And I have to be able to negotiate with that person and trust that [00:19:00] what I'm doing is right. And that's a hard thing for a lot of us to do.
So let's talk about trusting a little bit.
Mindi Huebner: they're probably not gonna like this answer. Um, in order to trust yourself, you get to practice trusting yourself. Oh, this is like anything. Yeah. You flex that subconscious safety muscle, that self-trust muscle, and, and, okay, here's a great exercise. Yeah.
You already have so many places in your life where you are trusting yourself. So let's get really granular and actually silly. 'cause this is you proving to yourself like, oh, your brain doesn't know the difference between real and imagined. So we're gonna take what I call, of course, energy. Of course, you trust yourself and let's prove it to you.
The simplest thing. Did you trust yourself to order a meal? Did you trust yourself to get dressed today? Did you trust yourself to like find the places where you're like, it's a of course, like you didn't even think about it. I trusted myself. I [00:20:00] trusted myself. Take note, take note, take note of it. Like really be, I trusted myself there.
Way to go. I trusted myself there. Way to go, like build up that fabulous file call in all that, of course, energy. Of course, I trust myself. Now we're gonna take that energy and we're gonna copy and paste it onto the next thing that we're gonna do. We already know that we can trust ourselves. We've seen it a million ways in our lives.
If we really wanna look for it now, our Raz is gonna for very like it. A really easy definition. It's gonna bring us what we anticipate and expect. So if we're anticipating and expecting to trust ourselves, because we already do, like past self has already proven to current self, that we can trust ourself.
So future self is gonna be like, oh yeah, we could trust ourself. Then we just start flexing that muscle and flexing that muscle. It gets, it comes with more ease. Will it ever be easy? Maybe It [00:21:00] depends on you. Yeah. Will it have more ease? Absolutely. Absolutely. Walking in being clear that selling this $4 million home and earning $120,000 commission is exactly where you're meant to be, and you're gonna negotiate like the boss you are and, and, and, and let's put another tool on there for people to use for that.
I love mental rehearsal, and this is visualization on steroids. So you're gonna get your, of course, energy. I'm gonna bring it in. You're gonna see it, you're going to hear it, you're gonna feel it, you're gonna taste it. You're gonna dive into a swimming pool of walking into that room and negotiating that $120,000 commission or whatever it is we're negotiating.
And what are you hearing and what are you feeling internally and externally? And, uh, what are you seeing and what are you tasting, right? Are you tasting the peppermint that you popped in your mouth when you come in and the glass of [00:22:00] water that you're offering the client and feeling the chair underneath your feet And in your stomach, you're feeling the, we got this, we, we trust ourselves, right?
You're hearing the client say, well, what do you think? Like, 'cause you are the expert. Dive into a swimming pool of this, what I call 24 carat outcome, mentally rehearse you being your amazing empire building self. With that, of course, the energy, your brain doesn't know the difference between real and imagined.
You walk into the room, you've already lowered the stress level because the brain's like, oh yeah, like the mint, the shoes. She's got that here, that dress on. We know this. Yeah. Seriously. Like have, and I know I'm, I'm not talking to you, Christina, I'm talking to your listeners 'cause I know you know this. I love it though.
Have fun with this.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah.
Mindi Huebner: Have fun with it. Trust yourself. Find the little tiny places where you trust yourself all the time. Like put that all together. Lock it [00:23:00] inside. This is your of course energy. You absolutely can operate from, from your authentic self and lead in self-trust. You already do it all the time.
You're just not noticing it. You're not aware of it.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I love this. And it's like, so for me, let me ask you this. Okay. So I do a lot of meditation and I never used to do it before because to be honest, we talk about this, go, go, go like this hustle. For a long time I couldn't meditate. Like I literally could do not sit still.
I was like trying to like sit there for a minute. I'm like, I can't do this now. No joke. But I, if my four kids are around, it's harder. But like, when they're not around, I actually can get a really deep, deep meditation where I can do that. Like, I actually envision like, okay, this is gonna happen. If this happens, here's a cool way of approaching it.
And in my brain, I'm like acting the whole thing out. Almost like a movie, like I'm playing it. Mm-hmm. Right? Yeah. Yes, yes. So do you, do you meditate? Do you do any of that stuff with
meditation?
Mindi Huebner: I do meditate. Okay. And that, and thank you. Like, yes. Recovering [00:24:00] perfectionist here, divorced from Hustle. I couldn't do yoga for a really long time because I'm like, can we get going slow?
Why is this so slow? Yes. And now, yeah, I, I will say, I didn't say this before. Rest is my favorite productivity tool. Yeah. Like, like give me the long poses in yoga. Yoga and I wanna go for a run and you know Yeah. Sweat my brains out kind of thing. Yeah. I do meditate and lots of times it's a walking meditation.
'cause I still get, I still get that busy. So there's, there's no wrong way to meditate. Yeah. My friends. And it could be 30 seconds of either focused on a word, a mantra, silence. Silence is really difficult for me. I like guided meditation. I like at least some sort of binaural beats something going on.
That's me personally. Yeah, I just, my brain is [00:25:00] like scanning, scanning, scanning for something. Otherwise, I can also get very deep in meditation from a lot of practice. What I love about mental rehearsal, don't freak yourself out. Friends, this is you. Like it could take 30 seconds. the most important thing is the outcome.
What's your 24 car outcome? What, what is it that you wanna be holding in your hand at the end of the meditation? Is it a check for $120,000?
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah, I'll take it.
Mindi Huebner: Is it a glass of water? Like is it whatever it is, then you, you just reverse engineer it and you dive into a swimming pool of it. I call it really like visualization on steroids.
Yeah. Because you, this is how we're tapping into our subconscious. 'cause our subconscious thinks in pictures and sounds and feelings. Mm. And so we want to be able, so someone saying right now, I can't visualize, I have clients that are like, I cannot visualize. It's very difficult. They're much better at it now.
We've done a lot of practice together. It's okay. Let yourself off the hook. Can you smell it? [00:26:00] Yeah. Can you taste it? Can you feel it internally or externally? Like feel your feet on the floor kind of thing. I just had a, I just talked to a client today and one time we did a meditation where she could hear the clack, clack, clack of her heels as she walked into a room.
'cause those were her like power heels, you know? Yeah. And so there we go. Like, her subconscious, immediate was like, oh, those are our power shoes. Right? Like, it's so, I'm gonna use the word powerful again. It's so powerful to align your subconscious. it wants to serve you and so does your brain. It wants to prove you, right?
So get it moving in the empowered direction as opposed to the disempowered direction.
Christina Kokologiannakis: And I feel like it could be anything like, you know, everyone is so different and this is why I'm all about be you, find you like, what do you like? Because you were like, oh, I do the walking meditation. Well, I'm like, I never really heard of anyone doing a walking meditation.
I'm like, that's actually kind of cool. I, I had like, the way I would do it is everyone was like, sit, hold a meditation for three, four minutes. I really hated it. Like it was really, really hard. So now, instead for me, I have a room [00:27:00] that I go to. So like when I meditate, I close my eyes. I do a lot of breath work, and I actually get so deep into the meditation.
I can't hear anything around me, but I'm in, it's kind of cool, it's like a circle room with a fire in the middle, and it's all black and there's screens around it. So I see thoughts and I pass 'em by as screens and like a TV screen. But then I have a room I can go into in my meditation with a big whiteboard that extends forever and I can map out things I'm doing or thinking about.
So it's like a little different jam, but everyone does it so differently, right? Yes. And it's like whatever you need to do. But I will tell you, like you're saying, if you feel it and you believe it, like they talk about, you probably know the Superman pose. You know where you're like, yes. You walk in before anything, you put your hands on your hips, you get that pose.
I used to teach that. I was like, before you walk into an appointment or before you get onto a phone call, whatever it is. If you feel confident about yourself, it changes everything. And I think too many of us are really doubting ourselves so much. Right. We're unsure. [00:28:00] I get people, like, I've coached people where they're like, I wanna get into high ticket.
I'm like, okay, but tell me what you're doing. And they go, well, I'm selling an eight week live course, like live and I'm selling it for 2 97. I'm like, wait, wait, wait. Yes. Right. Like, we both made faces, you guys can't see us. We both were like, what? Yes. And I'm like, wait a minute. Wait, this is live like eight weeks live.
Correct. Like you're showing up live. And she's like, yeah. I'm like, why is this not like $5,000? And she changes it every eight weeks to something different. It's seasonal and it's a really cool course. She was like, well, 'cause no one will buy it. Mm-hmm. If I, if I charge more, no one will buy it. Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm. Let's talk about money and, and that whole issue that comes up with a mindset,
Mindi Huebner: success is not what we do, it's who we are. that's the first piece. And if you price something at 2 97 and that's not the actual price that you want for it, and it's a 2000 or $5,000 offer and you raise the price, you know who's not gonna buy it?
The 2 97 people? 'cause it ain't for them anyway. [00:29:00]
Christina Kokologiannakis: Right. Like I tell them all the time,
Mindi Huebner: Our pricing calls in that level of client, in my experience, yes. Uh, so Right. And so can we never have. A lower priced item. No, of course not. Like, like we can beta stuff, we can do all of those types of things.
That's how we build our confidence, right? That's how we flex that, that muscle. And that's how you also, if we're baiting something, if we're doing something at a half of a price, that what we're gonna offer it at later. We're also refining. 'cause that's the next thing we're practicing. We're not only practicing our self-confidence, we're practicing our expertise.
We're practicing what we're delivering. Right. We're practicing the whole thing. And so I love a lower ish price for a practice. Yeah. And then once we've practiced, like think, I don't know why I'm gonna use a baseball analogy 'cause I don't really like [00:30:00] baseball, but I'm thinking like a farm league. Yeah.
Right Up to the major leagues. Like you've practiced, you just got pulled up. It, you get to, you get to raise the price. So let's move right into achievement attachment. Yeah. Like if that's okay with you. Yeah. Like, and we're, this is right in with money as well. Yes. If you raise the price and no one buys it at that price, no one bought it at that price.
Like, here's what we do as women, especially in my experience, we say, oh, that means something about me as a human. I am a failure. I am, don't know what I'm doing. Me, me, me. I'm, the words we say after I am are the most powerful words in the universe. And so what are you saying after I am. You are not a failure.
If you had a launch and nothing sold, anyone that has made a. Can I swear? Sure. A shit ton of money has had a failed launch.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Oh my God. So many. There's
Mindi Huebner: no [00:31:00] way around it.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yes.
Mindi Huebner: You've had things that flopped. 'cause to be honest, we learn more from the stuff that doesn't work then the stuff that works. 'cause when it works, we're just on autopilot and we're right.
We're just cruising along, not necessarily noticing all the little details. So that's where we get to stay aware, right? When we're, that's where we get to stay aware and. While I don't love a failed launch either. I know it doesn't make me a failure. Do I have my moment? This is the work I do and I am really good at it and I still have my little pity party.
Yeah, that's emotions are valid and we get to experience Them, we have them for a reason. They are indicators for us. So I'm inviting you all to not stuff down an emotion, right? Like the more emotionally intelligent you are, the more successful you'll be. The higher sales you will call in, the more clients you'll call in.[00:32:00]
'cause you know how to handle emotional conflict internally. It doesn't. Rule you, you rule it, you get to experience it though. It's vital to experience it.
Christina Kokologiannakis: You have to. And it's one of these things where I tell people, I'm like, people look at me and they're like, oh, like you're so successful. You've done all this.
now I'm talking about like I've been an entrepreneur for 20 years. Like I know I've been in corporate and I've done other stuff, but I created a lot of businesses that failed. Like I literally created a child's toy and I still have them. And here's where my brain was. I was really young and I was like, oh, I'm gonna do this.
My daughter was born premature, she was born at 30 weeks. And so I was like, yeah. And so I was like, I don't want people touching her. 'cause everyone's like, oh, she's so cute. And they're touching her. And I'm like, if she gets sick, she could die. And so I created this really cool toy that was like, please don't touch my child.
It was really cool. And they could play with it, but it hung well, I'm thinking as an entrepreneur, I designed this whole thing. I got it certified, I got it created. I got it manufactured. I had [00:33:00] 3000 of them. And I sold like 10. I didn't build it the right way. And but I learned, right? Yes. Like it was in my mind, I was like, oh, I'm a failure.
I'm not good at this. But I learned so much from those moments and that time. So like, I keep telling people, you have to struggle to get where you need to go. You have to put in, like, remember we were talking about, it's like putting the reps in, right? You have to do the work. Failure is like putting the work in.
Like everything I've learned up to today, even, even like these moments like today, like we are, we're gonna talk about the attachment achievement, um mm-hmm. Attachment in a minute, but like even more. Yes. But like for me, every moment of every day I'm learning something and then I apply and then all of a sudden my brain can see it and it's like, oh, I can see it now.
I can do better. Um, but before we get into the other parts, I wanna ask you, because we were talking about, um, subconscious, we were talking about meditation. I wanna ask you, do you do grounding.
Mindi Huebner: Oh yes. Like, barefoot outside. Yes. Yeah. Oh my gosh, yes. Okay. Pick a tree in a [00:34:00] second. Yes. Okay. Yes, absolutely.
Christina Kokologiannakis: And do you find that calms your, so I, I kind of look at my subconscious as it's a very, for me, it's loud and sometimes it gets a little crazy, like the brain and subconscious don't always connect. And so I am very big on gut feelings. I can sense a lot of things before people can sense it, but my brain doesn't always connect.
But I find if I'm grounding and I do it every day, at least 15 minutes, I have a better feeling throughout the day and my brain connects better. What do you think about that?
Mindi Huebner: Yes, absolutely. And I, having that clear for me, it's a, I would call it a clear energy field. Yeah. Like, I'm certified in reiki and lots of Oh, cool.
So many fun. Like woo sort of thing, like lots of strategies, science. And then I gotta bring that like you have to in there as well. Yeah. So the, that energy work, that clearing those energetic bodies being grounded and connected, like I, I wanna, I wanna connect to Mother Earth and I wanna connect to the divine.
And so [00:35:00] when I'm working like that, that energy is channeling through me. So my, my own personal energy is not draining. 'cause I am using the grounding that's available to me, just like you said. And it makes everything clear and it does increase our intuition. Your your knowing, right? Like whatever you wanna call it.
Yes, absolutely. I, I love to, I also love the sub, my kids call me a lizard. Like they send me little lizard emojis all the time. I, I go through, I should own a sunscreen company. I go through massive amounts of sunscreen because I don't want, I don't want skin cancer, but I love the sun. I love, I love the feeling of the sun on me.
It is so. Powerful. I feel so charged from it. You,
Christina Kokologiannakis: you know why you feel that way? I have, if you don't know, I'm gonna tell you.
Mindi Huebner: Oh, tell me. Okay. I mean, I, I don't think I know why, but why do I,
Christina Kokologiannakis: okay, so, so people kind of know this. I'm like slowly talking about I'm a biohacker and I'm like so into [00:36:00] how the body works because I've had so many problems for so long in my body that I'm like, I wanna treat my body right so that I could be even more successful.
So your mitochondria, they actually need the red light therapy and the energy from the sun. Sun. And if you're not getting that light throughout the day. That's your powerhouse. They need it and actually breaks through the skin. It gets to them and they get, that's how they get recharged. Love it. And that's how they get more energy.
So when people are in the sun, they actually feel happier, they feel good, they're energized. I am, I, like we mentioned earlier, I'm at my parents' house right now because I'm kind of in between homes and I love my parents to death. It's a big house. They're older, but it's dark. It's a very dark house. So every morning now, I get up at like six in the morning and they're like, where are you going?
And I'm like, oh, I'm going out to get my red light therapy. I'm like, I'm gonna go ground for a little bit and I'm gonna go get some light. Like, and then I find throughout the day, I was just telling my daughter, I'm like, I feel so tired today. And she's like, mom, it's, it's so dark in here. And I was like, you're right.
'cause [00:37:00] in my, my house that I'm selling now, I had huge windows that were always open. I was always outside, inside. So I find I have to go out. But your body needs that. That's why you love it so much because your subconscious is already excited and working, but it needs that energy and that light and the sun, it gives it to you.
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Mindi Huebner: Yes, and you've hit on a, a really important piece too, that we still are our physical body as well. Yes. Like if our physical body is to shit, like I, it doesn't matter what you're doing to align, you're conscious in your subconscious. Like those are, those are again, like two things that, that get to be intertwined with each other as well.
Like success isn't what we're doing, it's who we're being in order to do the most aligned thing 'cause hustling, right? If that's out of alignment for us, out of our core values. Some ways of being that we're showing up, then that's not only, it's not only gonna not gonna work, it's gonna [00:41:00] drain our energy.
We're gonna feel bad. We're gonna like, they're so connected. Yes. They're so connected and they tell
Christina Kokologiannakis: so many people. It's like, part of what I do now is I'm wrapping in the health into all of this, because a lot of women I talk to, they have digestive problems. Their hair is falling out. They don't have energy, but they, but in their minds, they're like, I wanna build that empire.
Like I have that drive. I know I was meant for more, but why don't I feel like I can do more? Why am I struggling so much? And so I think that's something that's so important, just taking care of yourself. Right. I wanna talk about Thehy. Go ahead. I was just gonna say
Mindi Huebner: sleep.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Oh
Mindi Huebner: yeah. Let's talk about sleep.
Sleep, hydration. Like all of those things are so vital. We like, here we are back at like, you don't need another freaking strategy yet. Let's go back to basics. Like think about the bookends of your day. What's your wind down routine to build this empire? 'cause you need a good, you deserve, and it's vital [00:42:00] that you have a wind down routine that supports you so that your sleep hygiene is top, top-notch.
You get adequate sleep for you in the way that serves you best. And what is that morning I, I'm gonna say routine and air quotes. 'cause for some people it might be long, for some people it might be short. It is the start of the day for you also vital to your energy for the rest of the day. So if we're discounting sleep, you said you're all getting into biohacking, right?
Yeah. Like this is vital to building your empire. Sleep, hydration, nutrition. Like what are we. What are we putting in our body in order to fuel it to be the empire builder that we know we're worthy of being?
Christina Kokologiannakis: And I think it's kind of funny. So like I met my parents, they love the sunlight. It's like the bright lights, like, they're like white, white.
They actually hurt my eyes because I'm, I have blue eyes, so like really bright. And I told my mom like, I gotta get red light glasses. She's like, red, she's thinking like the red light, like, like, you know, the LED red lights. I'm like, no, no, no. They're [00:43:00] like glasses that are red to like counteract this because I have my sleep so dialed in that with all these bright lights I'm noticing on my sleep tracking.
I'm like, I'm awake more. I'm not getting deep sleep. My, my REM is like shot my deepest shot. And I'm like, I'm down into the fifties on both. And I'm like, wait, I was so good. And you feel it. And so I think I want everyone to hear this, like, we're talking about your subconscious, we're talking about transforming all of this, but I'm gonna tell you, if you're overtired all the time, it's really hard to do this work.
Mm-hmm. Like if you just don't wanna do anything or you're cranky or whatever, it doesn't help you. And so sleep, food, all of that comes back to it. And I wanted to ask you, do you also practice gratitude? I know we talked about gratitude a little bit. Yes. And I think it's important to talk about this a little bit more.
Mindi Huebner: Yes. I, and I highly recommend some sort of practice, whether that is, you know, three things at night when you put your head on the pillow, like kind of thing, one thing in the [00:44:00] morning. Maybe you have a whole journal about it. I, I was just having a conversation today and the conversation was like. Are you impatient?
Like impatient for like building this empire and I should be farther along and, and all of the things like this impatience. What if we flip that on its head and instead we practice gratitude for, for what we've already created, for the decisions that we have made for the human that we are, that is building the empire.
It's all gonna come. Like, you're gonna stay on track, you're gonna do the things that serve you, and guess what? You're gonna get off track and that's human too. And then, and then you'll find a new track, right? And, and then you'll get back in alignment. Uh, 'cause that's absolutely human. And having that foundational gratitude, that lens, I like to think about it like putting on a, a set of glasses really, like, so that you're looking at things through the lens of [00:45:00] gratitude.
And I don't, maybe I'm gonna get controversial here. No, they say that's always good for, you know, whatever comments and everything like. I am not talking about being grateful for shitty things. Please, please don't hear that that is not what we're talking about. No, no. I, I am, every morning I drink a big, giant glass of water before I do, before I drink way too much coffee.
And I, I talk to the wa like, I'm so grateful to have clean water to drink and I'm not being trite about it or anything. Like I truly, I truly am when I get into clean sheets, you know, like when I like all of those things, when I'm exhausted, when my grandkids leave, I am grateful that they have been here exhausting me and that they wanna hang out with me and that, you know, my kids wanna come over and all those kinds of things.
Like, it's that
very basic.
Christina Kokologiannakis: It's so important though. Like it's, I tell people, so I work with my kids a lot and I'm like, I just want you to be [00:46:00] grateful. Like I, I, my kids don't ask, like my parents will be like, or my family will be like, do they have a wishlist for their birthday? Do they have, and I'm like, no.
And then my parents get really mad and my family friends get mad. They go. Why don't they have an Amazon list? Why don't they have this? I go, because my kids have everything they want. Like they're grateful. Like I'm teaching them to be grateful that they have an iPad, to be grateful that they have the food that they eat, to be grateful that they have parents that can be around and do stuff like find that gratitude.
And for me, it's very simple, gratitude. Like I'll do gratitude a lot. I try to do it at night, but sometimes I'm so tired or I'm kind of still winding down. I don't get to it. But every morning when I'm grounding and I get the sunlight, I take the 10 minutes while I'm grounding and I give gratitude and I say, I know it sounds so weird, but I'm like, thank you for my health.
Thank you for my energy. Mm-hmm. Like, thank you for my kids, my husband, you know, thank you for the sunlight. And I know this one sounds really weird, guys, but this is like important. Thank you for all the bugs in my body who make me wonderful. Like, all, everything inside you that [00:47:00] makes it work and you're living, you have an ecosystem inside you.
So it's like making everything work. Like I'm grateful for everything that I have and I don't sit here saying I need a nicer car, or I need a nicer this, or a nicer, or that. It's like, I'm really happy, like I wanna be happy with what I have. And if more comes great. And I think too much of us are sitting there saying, , and this is where we're gonna get to next.
But like, you know, I, I, I wish it would come faster. I, I wish I had it sooner and I fall into that trap too much and I hate it. And it's just something I kind of, I don't know what it is. It's something I have, but I'm like, like I have three listings on the market right now on the real estate side. And I thought like, oh.
Normally in a week they sell. It was gonna be fast, it was gonna be whatever the market turned. I saw it coming. I knew it was happening, but somewhere in my brain I was still like, oh, it'll be easy. And then today I really got down on myself and I was just like, I don't understand. Like, why is this like taking so long?
You know, I'm really flustered, I'm really struggling. Like, I was really upset. [00:48:00] I told my husband, and of course I don't have him here, right? So we're just chatting and I'm like, I'm just really bummed because I wanted to get out to Tennessee faster. I don't think I'm gonna be out until like mid-July now.
Like I'm, I'm just upset about all this. Nothing's going the way that I had planned and expected it. And this is an issue that I have. So let's talk about this a little bit.
Mindi Huebner: Okay. So we're gonna go, like, we're gonna rabbit hole a little bit. I wrote, let's do it some notes so that I there's a couple things I'm gonna say.
There's a couple things going on there. Okay. First of all, I love the question why I. When we are talking about our schemes and dreams and hopes and visions, ask why in the direction of greatness and empire building all the time. Here's what happens when you ask why you immediately tell the story. You say, because see what happens when you say it to your kids.
Right? Why did you do this? Because like, we immediately tell a story, we can't help it. It's the almost always the next thing that comes. What happens when we ask why in the direction of [00:49:00] things we don't like? Why are the houses selling? Why da, da, da da? Like is we get answers, ask a better question. We get answers we don't want.
'cause the answers that come are we start to self criticize. Yeah. the root of. Self-sabotage, self-protection. The mother of it is that inner critic is, is negative self-talk. Every other form of self-protection literally grows from that negative self-talk. Whether it's perfection,
comparing yourself to others. Yes. Procrastination, overthinking, like overproducing. Every one of those things comes from self-criticism, from us telling ourselves we're not enough. And that is very deep subconscious. So that's, that's the first part. I'm gonna invite you to ask a better question. I'm gonna invite everybody to ask a better question instead of, why isn't this happening?
What is making me blame [00:50:00] myself? Feel down. You, you get a very different answer when you ask it in a different way. And I can't prove this scientifically. It's as if you're operating from a different, like, room in your brain. I still have your vision. Uh, yeah. But first of all, your meditation rooms and then, yeah.
Tell me again the name of the membership you're building
Christina Kokologiannakis: House also Cortes.
Mindi Huebner: Cortes also there, you're like, it's house, it'll grow with you. So I have all these like housing visions in my head. And it feels like , when you ask why you're standing in one room in your brain , , and if it's again, in the direction of your dreams and schemes, it's a great question.
'cause then you just go, well, why is that important? Well, why do I want that? Well, instead when you're standing in the house of something that didn't go the way you want it, what, how, when, like, when did I decide that if these houses didn't sell in two weeks, I was garbage? Like, or whatever that is like. What makes [00:51:00] me say that to myself when I could tell a better story. You just start to reframe and you almost like step out of it. You, you get this different perspective. So that, that would be the first piece. Ask a better question. The quality of our life is determined by the quality of the questions that we're asking.
So I'm gonna invite everyone to just ask themselves a better question. The next one I heard was, Hmm, this is, I love this 'cause this is really deep into the work I do. So one of the modalities that I am, , certified in is called Rapid rewire, and this is about releasing emotional charge, which is why I, I am such a proponent of feeling your emotions, like understanding how vital they are for you and like identity integration, conflicting identities.
So every identity is a role with a goal. Okay. The identity and I, I'm gonna use an example and then we'll come back to you and use you specifically for an example. So, when we are in the identity of an angry person, the [00:52:00] goal of an angry person is not to be happy. Please don't confuse yourself. Lots of times we're like, whoa.
What's the goal? Well, it's, it is to get happy. Mm-hmm. Angry person says, I wanna yell, I wanna scream, I wanna stop my feet. Every identity is a role with a goal, and none of them are bad. Just like emotions. The issues come in when we get stuck in an identity or when we have conflicting identities , that we can't seem to integrate.
So that can show up in a couple ways so we can get stuck in an identity, in an emotional identity like anger. We've all met very angry people. they're stuck. That identity, the benefits and the payoffs of being angry are greater than anything else, and they can't see it.
And they're stuck. Right. Like they've concluded and decided this is who I am. This is the way that it is. So there's that identity. There's also the other [00:53:00] hats that we wear, identity that we cycle through all day long. So realtor Christina, yeah. Is not going to be very effective parenting her daughter.
Yeah. Mom. Christina is, yes. So there is another place that when we get stuck in an identity, we don't get the results that we want. Because every identity is a role with a goal. Realtor Christina, her role is to bring in a million dollars on autopilot, right? Yeah. Right. It's to sell houses without thinking about it, it's to like, whatever that is, right?
Yeah. Mom, Christina's role, very different. She makes very different decisions. So that's the first thing, no, that every identity is a role with a goal. And, and when we are healthy, we are cycling through them, cycling through them all the time. Whether it's emotional identity or like a hat that you wear.
We'll think about it that way. So now let's go back to your identity. Uh, where you, you, you were telling your husband, like, so, [00:54:00] so tell me again, what were you saying to your husband? Like, I don't understand.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I just, I think I tie I get in my brain and I have like this outcome already, which just makes me laugh when I think about it.
Now I'm saying it, it's like, it's so silly, but it's like I already predetermined the outcome. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I was already like, oh, this is what's gonna happen. I already know it's gonna be great. And then when it doesn't, I kind of go down a spiral. Yes. And I'm like, wait, wait. And then I get this urgency of I have to do a whole bunch of stuff because I gotta make that outcome come back.
But I know that doesn't work, but then my brain goes there. Yeah. So I was just telling him how upset I am about the situation. I can't get out to Tennessee fast enough. Like I, you know, it's just, it wasn't working as planned. Yes. And then I started beating myself up over it.
Mindi Huebner: Yes. So, okay. Two things there as well.
So when we get tied to an outcome, and, and here's the beauty of an outcome, right? An outcome is. Well, it's a result, number one, right? So there's a difference [00:55:00] between a goal and an outcome goals. We set 'em and don't hit 'em all the time. Outcomes are what actually happens. Yeah. Like that's where the rubber meets the road.
So I love to work in outcomes. Yeah. Uh, as opposed to goals. 'cause we get results there, right? Like we show up as if we have to be tied to something. What if we were tied to being the woman or the human who doesn't just create that outcome is an outcome creator because she then shows up very differently.
Yes. We like the milestones. We like the candle on the birthday cake. We like the, you know, the number on the check. Yes. We like those. They're just milestones. They're one outcome. We don't, I'm gonna quote James. Clear. We don't wanna read one book. We wanna be readers. Yeah. We don't wanna sell one house. We wanna sell an empire's worth.
Yeah. So this allows us to then, what if we were tied to the [00:56:00] outcome of the, the human that we are? What if we were tied to our outcome of being the empire builder? And this particular deal is, is one milestone, and, and we're gonna hit many milestones. We tend to then release the attachment from that. And then we're like, okay, well who am I being now?
If I, if I'm attached to the outcome of me, who am I being? What am I believing? What could I do differently? How could I shift how I'm feeling about this outcome? Yeah. Like it's an outcome, right? What do I have control over me?
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yes.
Mindi Huebner: What do I have influence over the outcome? If, if though what I have control over is out of control, I don't have influence anymore either.
Yes. Do I Right? I love that. Yes. Yes. So, so that's about the outcome. Now, if you had to name the identity [00:57:00] that you were in talking to your husband, what, what kind of a person would, would that be? Would they be sad? Would they be disappointed? Would they be, and there's no shame in this at all. This is the emotion that you were
Christina Kokologiannakis: feeling.
Like what, what would you I think it's a hard one because I think it was a whole bunch, it's, it's sadness because I wanna see my boys. Yeah. I don't have, I haven't seen my three boys for like two weeks now. Wow. And I'm kind of like missing them or my husband. So there's sadness there. And then there's that disappointment of like.
I'm really good at what I do.
Mindi Huebner: Yeah. What's going on?
Christina Kokologiannakis: Like, I'm so good. And, and the funny thing is, I'd done podcast episodes and YouTube saying, the recession's coming, the market's shifting. Like, I know, 'cause I can remember I talked about how I feel. I can really feel things and the energy.
Yeah. So I knew all this was coming and I think in my mind, I was hoping I was fast enough, like I was gonna be fast enough. This wasn't gonna take effect yet. And well, as soon as everything started hitting the market, it did. The market shifted. We have a couple wars going on. There's all stuff I can't [00:58:00] control.
And so I think it was that disappointment. And then there was this, this frustration. Yeah. 'cause it's like, it's like, okay, did I not price them right? Did I not do anything right? Like, so there's a whole bunch of kind of things going on. You're
Mindi Huebner: hitting, we're gonna go with frustration because you just laid out so many beautiful things right there.
So from the, the viewpoint of a frustrated person, like. What was good about the frustration? What was bad about the frustration? Most of us would say there was nothing good about the frustration, but you started, what had you concluded? What had you decided, well, did I price this right? Like, we went right down into the I did something wrong.
Like, and I know better. I didn't do something wrong. Like I am, I am the expert in here. And even if I did, like, even if I, like, I'm still learning, right? Like every moment is an opportunity to learn. So that identity like just took over. Yeah. And when we [00:59:00] get stuck in an identity is when we, when we have the issue, right?
I don't wanna call it a problem. Like it just is a challenge for us. Like it's, it's a challenge. And so how would you like to feel instead of frustrated? Like what identity would you like to step into?
Christina Kokologiannakis: Prob I think for me it'd be more certainty, but I Beautiful. But it's hard to have, but it's hard to have that right.
Okay. Go ahead. I agree.
Mindi Huebner: I agree. So now here's the beauty though. You have been certain Christina many times. Yes. Is that fair to say? Yeah. Yes. So you've also been frustrated, Christina. 'cause she, every identity is a role with a goal. Like there's a time and a purpose for her. We get to feel frustrated about things.
Yeah. So what if frustrated Christina and certain Christina just integrated and you just became Christina? And you got to then choose like, oh, this deserves a little frustration to remind me. Like I'm certain, like I've done this many times. Like I'm gonna feel the [01:00:00] frustration. I'm gonna allow the frustration 'cause this is real.
Right? This is what I'm experiencing. I'm not gonna spiritually bypass this and pretend like it's not happening. And there are circumstances in the world that are adding to this frustration. And then, and certain Christina knows what she can control what she can't because we wanna be able to be us. And then think about it like flavors to choose from.
Yeah. And you sometimes you want a little bit of both. Like that whole Mambo number five song just came into my head. I don't know what I love that song is happening right now, but I was like, little bit of Monica, a little bit of this like, right, like yeah, we need, we need a little bit of frustrated us sometimes.
Right. We, what we don't need is to be stuck in the full blown version of frustrated us. We wanna be able to tap into every identity. 'cause they all serve a purpose for us. Okay? They remind us of [01:01:00] something. They give us something. Every identity is a role with a goal being frustrated. Here's what I love about being frustrated.
A good thing about being frustrated. It shows you that you care. You're bought in, you, you've studied, you've put in the reps, you've right. There are good things about frustration. And when we can recognize that, like, what's bad about it, I don't like the way it feels. It makes me feel like this and that.
Right? When we can recognize that there, it, there are polar things about it, right? It's black and white. It's not just one thing. All of a sudden then the emotion, the emotional charge starts to dissipate. Oh, okay. 'cause they're like, oh, I'm frustrated because I care about this.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I'm
Mindi Huebner: frustrated because, right, like that's, we get to recognize what good, what's good about being frustrated.
What, what have I decided and concluded about being frustrated that that's actually good for me? Like what is it [01:02:00] showing me as opposed to just what's bad about it?
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah. I love that so much because as you're talking and I'm thinking about, I'm like okay. 'cause I know it's, the funny thing is like I talk about time, you can use time with you or time against you like, but time is time.
And I know that in real estate, I know if I just give it time, it happens like a launch, my first launch is gonna probably be horrible. I'm okay with that. 'cause I know by the 10th or 20 launch it's gonna be amazing. 'cause I've learned, I use time, I have all this good stuff. And so it's funny as you're talking about that, I'm like, okay, I need to give myself more grace and I need to just be like, give it time.
Everyone's like, give it time. But then there's the, the, the Christina, the controlling Christina who's just like, no, I don't want to, like, I know better. Like, I could do this. And then I have to remind myself, like, so one of the homes is my own home, right? So I don't wanna just drop the price. And by the way, I don't ever do that for my clients either.
Like, I don't like agents who are like, just drop the price until it sells. You lose so much money, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. So I'm [01:03:00] very strategic on my pricing. I'm very strategic on my timing. I'm so strategic on so much that when you're talking about all that, I'm like, okay, take a breath. I, if I just come out of uncertainty and panic, I'm gonna make bad decisions that I'm not gonna like.
Mm-hmm. And then I'm gonna regret them later. So I'm gonna come back now and be like, you know what? The market slowed all the homes are sitting and that's okay. This could be like when you're launching, maybe people didn't show up. I don't, and this is where I tell people, don't drop your price. Yeah. It's that middle.
It's the middle of the
Mindi Huebner: launch when it's crickets. Right. But
Christina Kokologiannakis: it's crickets. And then they're like, oh my gosh, it's too much. You know, no one's gonna buy it. And I'm like, if nobody bought it, then it doesn't mean your price. Right. Price can still be good. Like there's so many other things we can change. It could just be the audience.
It could just be the timing. Like and I, it's funny 'cause I coach my clients that, but so many times I still struggle with that. Right. And I love that you just really put all that in a great little reframe of like, here's [01:04:00] what you have to understand. And I hope everyone listening when you have those moments.
Just take a breath, right, and then go see Mindy.
She'll,
she'll fix it all for you. But I,
Mindi Huebner: you know, oh,
sorry, go ahead.
Christina Kokologiannakis: No, no, go ahead. No, go ahead.
Mindi Huebner: I was just gonna, I another like gift of mine is, is word swapping and, and helping people trade words that are constricting for words that are expansion based for me.
So one of my favorites is like, and I don't, now, when people listen, they'll, they'll have heard me say this the whole time. I rarely say. Need to, like, you have to, you need to like, someone's wagging a finger at you. Um, need as in deep desire. Like, I need some chocolate ice cream. Hell yeah. Right? Like, need that kind of need.
That's a whole different kind of need. But if we're talking about like, something that is vital or essential to your growth, I, I, you're not gonna hear me say, you need to do this. You're gonna hear me say, this is vital, or this is essential to [01:05:00] getting what you want. I also, I'm not gonna say you have to, again, vital or essential to getting what you want.
You get to be emotionally regulated. You get to take a breath and step back. Like this is a gift. Literally. You get to, you get to choose it. I remember the first time this really came to the forefront. For me of how other people use language. Like it has always been for me, a, I am a master reframer, so much so that it can be really hard for me sometimes to like share a struggle because immediately my brain is reframing it and I'm seeing the challenge that turns into the opportunity instead.
Right? Struggle, challenge, opportunity. I was working with a client long time ago, a life coaching client, and she's like, I have to pick up my kids. And I'm like, you have to, don't you want to? And she goes, well, of course I do. I said, well then it's not really a have to, is it like, it was just this whole moment of our [01:06:00] words are these containers for so much power and she loves her children.
Of course. Like that wasn't it at all? The way that though her energy rose when she was switched that did that swap too. I get to go pick up my kids. Like and here we are, back at gratitude. Yeah. I am in a position to pick them up. I have a vehicle to pick them up. I wanted children and I have them and I get to pick them up.
Right. Like all of the pieces that we can then be in that very simple, beautiful gratitude. Again. Another one of my favorites. And then I'll shut up about this and we'll move on. No, you're good. I love it. Um, uh, 'cause this is just really simple little easy things for people to just start rewiring their brain right now.
Yeah. From now on in the future, next time, instead of I should have and beating ourselves up. We do this women especially should as a could with shame smeared on it. Like we're constantly doing this to ourselves. We get to quit. Like we get to, we get to not do this anymore from [01:07:00] now on in the future. Next time we get to use these three words.
Any time when the word should wants to come out. Also, I don't like to be told what to do, so somebody's saying to me, you should do this. My ears have already shut off and I can't hear you. Yep, me too. So how would it feel instead to say in the future, what, what else could we choose from now on? How would it feel to do X, Y, Z?
Right? Like, next time I'm going to, instead of shooting on myself, right, next time, I'm going to have a stack before I go to that client meeting because I realized that my blood sugar was low, which made X, Y, Z. Right? If we can use that really simple language, it will start firing and wiring neuropathways together that you're.
Subconscious and your RAs than is looking for expansion. It's looking for [01:08:00] ways to prove to you that yes, you're flexing your subconscious identity, safety muscle. You're finding these new ways of being, you're shedding the shoulds and the conditioning. Uh, it's just a really easy way to tap into that.
Christina Kokologiannakis: I love that.
It's actually, I've never heard anyone do it that way. I always tell people, stop shitting all over yourself. Like, because people do that. I should have. I should have, I should have. And it's like, you know what, we can only do so much. Mm-hmm. We really can only do so much. And I have a house in Tahoe, I'm fixing up right now that I'm gonna sell one of my homes and.
The pest guy called me 'cause we had some pest problems and as soon as I saw his number, I'm like, oh no, I think I forgot to pay him. So it's before he said anything, I'm like, I'm so sorry. I should have paid you like I did. And he's like, wait, what? No, no, no. You don't pay me until I'm all done. I'm not done yet.
I'm like, oh. Like I was already like beating myself up because I saw his number and I thought I didn't get to it. 'cause I'm so busy. 'cause that's a problem that I have. I miss a lot of stuff. But like, we need to give ourselves grace and we need to understand that there are some things that are not important.[01:09:00]
And then there are some things that should be deathly important. Like I have a, podcast that's me coming out in a little bit where I talk about can we get back to the moments where our phones are no longer in view. Our kids are on the floor playing. Right. Because I have a 15 and a half year old all the way to 5-year-old.
Right. So I still have the little ones and we're just sitting there present in the moment. Mm-hmm. Just enjoying them. Like can we just get back to, I don't need to make a crazy dinner. I don't need to cut off all the crust to make it like perfect. I don't have to be this amazing crazy mom. Can I just be mom?
Mm-hmm. Can I just be wife? Can I just be entrepreneur? Can I just enjoy the moments that I have? And I think as moms and I think as entrepreneurs. We're missing so much of it, and we're missing the moments. We're missing the life. And so that story you told about the one client who was like, oh, I have to pick up my kids.
Like that actually gave me goosebumps because I was like, I, my husband will be like, oh, I'm heading home early. Do you want me to grab the kids? I'm like, don't [01:10:00] you dare. Yeah. My turn. It's, I'm like, I'm like this. This is like, I know, sometimes I get a little crazy and I'll be like, oh yeah, I get fused because I have to stop my day to go pick them up.
But that's the moment I love the most. Mm-hmm. Is when my 5-year-old runs to me and is like, mommy. And then my, my 9-year-old will come find me. He tries to surprise me and go, boo. Like, you know, you know, these are the moments where I'm like, I get to ask about the day. I hug them, I spend a whole hour with them.
I get to be with them. And I think we forget these moments. I think we forget how important this is to our, our, our mind, our capacity, our subconscious like. We have these things ingrained in us, and I think we're losing a lot of it. And we're, we're striving so hard and we have that hustle. 'cause I wanna kind of circle back to hustle.
Mm-hmm. Right? Mm-hmm. We feel like being busy is successful.
Mindi Huebner: Ugh.
Christina Kokologiannakis: It's not.
Mindi Huebner: Yes,
yes. We're also, what you're speaking to feels to me like that true battle between [01:11:00] ambition and presence. Yes. And, and we get, we do get to have both. It's vital to define what success is for each of us. And then so that we can cast votes towards that version of ourselves.
That mom, it's not success for me to cut the crust off or cook a gourmet meal like that was never, and my kids would attest that I am not a gourmet cooker. They're fed. I'm better as I get older. I have more time. They're healthy, they're, they're there. It, I have more time to cook now. Right? Yeah. Like clearly defining it for ourselves takes a lot of that garbage out.
'cause then we know clearly a version of mom success for you is picking up the kids.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah.
Mindi Huebner: So that's going to come over something else. Like it's gonna be easy to prioritize it when it's your. [01:12:00] It's gonna be easier. Yes. I won't say easy. It's going to be easier to prioritize it when you've already defined what it looks like.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yes.
Mindi Huebner: You already know how it's gonna feel. Here we are back at aligning our subconscious with this.
Christina Kokologiannakis: Yeah.
Mindi Huebner: You said busy hustle. If hustle is what you have been conditioned to do as well, slowing down will feel very unsettling. That's what we both experienced. Yes. I had it with yoga and meditation. You had it with meditation.
That's the practice as well. It's the, it's the rewiring that there are times for aligned hustle. There are times, yeah. Like we're building an empire. Yeah. There are times for aligned hustle. It is not 24 7 and it is not to the detriment of everything else in your life, no matter what Some. 25-year-old in a jet is telling you.
Christina Kokologiannakis: The funny thing is, it's [01:13:00] not their jet. Like I laugh about that. I'm like, it's, it's like a rental that they have for an hour. Like these people, I tell people all the time, I'm like, I just did an Instagram live. I don't know if you caught it where I said, there's quiet wealth and loud wealth. Yeah. Right. You can build a quiet empire.
You can build a loud empire. Like you can choose these different things. I build quietly. People look at me and they don't realize how wealthy I am, because I don't look like, I don't sit here and say, oh, I have to be in Louis Vuitton. Everything. Like, I'm not like that. I have a $20 Amazon purse that I love.
Of course I have nicer purses, but I don't care. Mm-hmm. Like it, it doesn't matter to me. But what matters, and this was talking about finding our identity. Mm-hmm. Is that I wanna have something in the future for my kids. Mm-hmm. I wanna build that. So when my kids get older, if they're like, mom, I'm struggling.
I'm like, don't worry. I gotcha. Right. I'm hoping I'll teach them to do their own, but if I ever need to take care of 'em, they have it right? I'm putting things in place for them. I have things for them. That, to me, is more important than anything. So [01:14:00] I love this conversation. Everybody. You guys have to seek out.
Mindy. Mindy, how can they find you?
Mindi Huebner: Yes, uh, you can find me on Instagram at Mindy Ebner. And what I would love is I would love for you to hop on an identity alignment call with me. It's 15 minute free call. What really reveals what your subconscious is wired for and how to align with what you want to achieve?
Like who do you actually want to be? Where do you want to have more ease in building your empire? So if you follow me on Instagram and then just DM me identity, I'll send you the link. You can hop on a free 15 minute call with me and we will really make some moves for you so that you can see really clearly what's
Christina Kokologiannakis: operating behind the scenes.
Yeah. And you guys already saw throughout this, like, I gave my struggles. Like she's already given me, I took so many notes. Like she already gave me so many things that like, I was like, oh, and, and I'm in this game, like I know all this. And it was still stuff like, it's wonderful to have [01:15:00] someone outside of you, even when you know a lot of stuff to see it because you can't always see where you're struggling, where you are, you know, you have a problem.
But sometimes it's like Mindy coming back and telling me, well, what about this? And I was like, oh. I was like, well, I didn't think of it that way. That's really cool. Like, like that just reframed instantly for me. And I was like, I'm gonna approach it this way now. Like, I think that's important. So jump on that call with her.
Share what you're struggling with, because I wanna tell you, if you're struggling with all of this and you wanna truly build an empire, whatever your empire is, I have learned that it's gonna hold you back. Hmm. So much, and that success that you want, it does not feel effortless when you break through it.
And like I said, I still work on this stuff all the time, right? I'm gonna probably call Mindy and say, Mindy, let's have a little session together, because there's stuff I wanna work through, because I know for a fact that when you get past all of this, success comes effortlessly. Now, there's other things in the process, of course, that make it work, but when your body's ready, everything's aligned, [01:16:00] and you're ready to do it, it happens.
So Mindy, thank you so much for coming on. I'm gonna put all your details in the show notes so everybody can reach out you. Thank you. Do what we need to do. Find your inner happiness. That's the way I'm gonna call it, so that everything else feels awesome. So thank you Mindy, again for joining me today. And thank you everyone.
We're gonna have, a YouTube episode as well. They'll be coming out, so make sure you catch that. We're gonna go a little deeper in some topics, but Mindy, I will see you soon on YouTube.